a new set of lives

There were so many times during the worst of my illness that I daydreamed about unzipping my skin from a seam and pulling it away to find new, healthy skin. I would spend hours in bed, too pained to move or exist beyond sadness. If I could just pull my skin away and discover a way out of my struggling body, I could be happy again. I’m thankful to be past the worst of it but I’m still haunted from time to time by this desire. Whenever I take two steps back, I slip into old feelings of sadness and longing for the health and life I had when I was so young. If there was some mythical way to purge myself of all the bad things that have happened to my body, I would do it.